he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
