Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
