508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize