i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
