i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
