Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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