I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
