when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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