you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just forgot I was standing up.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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