I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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