You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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