Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
