hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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