I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
