oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I smell like Dick and happiness
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
