dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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