I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
