At least make sure they are 18
Why
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
