i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
