After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So squirting runs in the family.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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