why do cheetos always look like penises
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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