You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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