There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
