Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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