I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
