I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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