i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
