Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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