I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
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I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I could fuck to npr.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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