Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
