I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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