ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
