I showed him my bush... on skype.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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