We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm at about main and main street
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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