Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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