Only a mothe r could love this liver
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
