sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
