I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
