ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
