Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
