The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
