I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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