i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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