I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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