omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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