You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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