butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
