I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
