so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
