Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
