There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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