You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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