I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
