I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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