Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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