I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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