i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
nutella sex= disaster
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
