Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
