He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize