Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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