The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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