Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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