Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
