I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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