He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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