i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
