eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize