You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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